woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I did not marry a roomba.
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