Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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