great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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