Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
smell my finger.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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