that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Houston, we have a squirter
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
