You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
