What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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