i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
