At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
