She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize