It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
