I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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