16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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