loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
