The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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