just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
