if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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