Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize