she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
