Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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