Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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