we have officially lost it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
