Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
