well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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