Kareoke will never be a sober sport
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize