Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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