We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize