was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
