Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
