We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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