So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish I only lived at night.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
