At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
