If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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