Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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