Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
