You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
