RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
