We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize