So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
