maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
