What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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