Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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