I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
