I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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