He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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