Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
