: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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