She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
two words...techno handjob
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
