i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
