dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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