I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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