Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
