My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
