I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
