I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
