if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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