Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
