I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
