sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
