Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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