We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
