I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
