Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
