He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Still dying that you shit outside
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
