Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
