Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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