Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
