she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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