she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize