Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
