So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
