I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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