we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sorry about my life...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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